LET'S GO RESCUE GRANDMA!

I may be going on a trip soon. To the delightful City of Costa Mesa, Ca.. I'm kidding, there's NOTHING "delightful" about Costa Mesa. The trip, however, IS a possibility. I have been asked, by a Dear Friend, to do my best Silent Bob Hard Ass Routine to help out with a bad situation that involves his Mom and an Evil Nephew. I'm good at Silent Bob, Hard Ass. All that's required of someone performing said act is to stand at Parade Rest, blank expression and stare at an imaginary hole in The Other Guy's Forehead. No words. Ever. An occasional blink is allowed. It makes people nervous and questioning of The Performer's motives. Which, is the point. LEO's will take care of The Dirty Work. I just have to stand there and look vaguely menacing. At any rate, it would be nice to get out of town and remember all the reasons that I don't live in Southern California. My Buddy will hate the traffic. I'm sure we'll find acceptable Alternate Routes of travel.

As I was coming home from The Mall and a Motorcycle Cafe' and Classic Cycle Showroom kind of place, taking a badly inked T-Shirt back for exchange yesterday afternoon, I noticed that the wind had kicked up to about a steady 20 kts. and a storm front was advancing. By the time I got back to The Neighborhood, it was gusting 40 and looking increasingly dark. It took about an hour for the red band of radar indication to reach here. I dialed it up on Weather Underground's long range site and saw that we were: "in for a pound." Of Dog Shit. It rained really hard, that "sideways" kind of rain, for about an hour or so and then settled into a fairly steady rain for the rest of the night. It's still raining. Which is "why" I went out to run errands yesterday. The main thing was to get the shirt turned in and buy some snack food. Mission accomplished. Nothing to do today but wade through some crap in the closet and tidy up The Ranch a bit. Listen to some music and vacuum the floors. The usual Self-Helpful Heloise Routine.

Russian Tea and a couple of cigarettes @ 04:00. Also usual. I'll lay back down, of course. It's "Good Sleeping Weather" outside. More words, later.

My Carpal Tunnel and Tendinitis stuff is giving me pain in my left arm/wrist/fingers. Delightful.

-Doc

A good Warren Set:

    

EVERYONE'S FAVORITE ANNOYANCE

Robo-Calls, Junk Mail, Aggressive Sales People, Moonies, People That Spout Their Political Beliefs On Public Transit, In Bars or Churches, Idiots (in general) and The Hits Just Keep On Coming... I could go on for hours. I find most "Lesser Animals" (sic) to be more agreeable than Humans. "I Love my Hamster but hate my Neighbor." You know the riff.

Recently, I discovered that some telemarketer/scammer/phisher type had actually been able to hijack my "default phone number settings" in gmail auto-complete. What was the purpose of that action and how would it benefit someone else? I am going to guess: "It would allow a 'spoof call' to be made, through my machine without me knowing about it." Ha! I check my logs, Buck-o. I change settings and passwords, often. No slippery bastard is going to burglarize my emails (except, of course, The People I Voted Into Office or are engaged in Espionage or Surveillance for the Common Good.) and commit dastardly acts against my circuitry and/or Gray Matter. Well, that's probably "wishful" at best. I am thoroughly convinced that there is all manner of shit-trickery going on behind my LCD Screen.

I was, however, "concerned" when I found that I had an Auto-Complete # attached to one of my many "Profiles." Some A-Hole in Lost Angels had inserted it. I suppose the truth is, they were "bouncing" off of another number and were actually in Costa Rica drinking a Lime Ricky Don't Lose That Number on the beach.. I have received Spam phone calls from the same number. One that was threatening me as they pretended to be the IRS, was marginally creative. Humorous, since I have not, legally, paid taxes in about 25 years. I am "exempt" from paying them, period. I won't go into the "why" about that. You'll just have to accept it as: The Gospel According To Doc. Try scratching your head. It sometimes works for me when I have that "dog that doesn't 'get it' look on my face." Cock your head to one side while you perform this action, too. It does NOT work if you leave out any of the pieces. Kind of like a Jigsaw Puzzle.

Allot of people that I know have reoccurring "problems" with their computers. Mostly, I discover that these same people NEVER perform ANY of their routine "house keeping chores" on their machines. RAM clears, temp file dumps, defragmenting and optimization, malware scans, making sure their various anti-virus/malware/hijacking/ambiguous 2nd Users/Spyware, etc., apps. are currently functioning correctly and updated, scanning those very same apps., etc.. You get the picture. These people are either (a) Stupid or, (b) Unaware of said actions. "I remember MY first computer." Actually, it didn't belong to me. It was the property of Maui County Libraries. Either that or the Community College where I learned to do basic operation of something like Windows and Commodore 64 stuff. I'm dating myself, both chronologically and in general. "With a Schizophrenic, you're never alone." No, I'm not a Schizo. A loaf of bread has never invited me to go surfing or dance the Meringue. (OK, there was that ONE TIME outside of Minneapolis after a Grateful Dead Show...) I just like saying those words.

Apparently, I like saying LOTS of words. You know The Type...Willing to engage a Fire Hydrant in conversation regarding Schopenhauer's used Kleenexes and whatnot. Whaddya' got? Yea, we can talk about that stuff.

This morning's listening:

Wanna' Buy Francisco Pizarro's Prosthetic Leg?

-Doc





   

IN LIEU OF WEEKENDS...

...I believe it was Les Claypool from Primus who said: "Funny thing about Weekends, they just don't seem to mean as much when you're unemployed." I suppose the same rule applies when one is "Retired." I know Friday Night doesn't mean Doodly-Squat to "Me or Bill's Parrot" anymore. A Kilgore Trout reference, somewhat obscure but, if YOU like Vonnegut like I like Vonnegut, you got it.

Sitting here at just after Noon O'Clock, listening to Tom Waits, having a third cup of coffee to go with the second painkiller and just watching the day fritter itself away. Typical. "Spring" in Temporarily Humboldt County. Another quasi-obscure reference with its' roots fully sunk into the 60's. Spring in Humboldt is like "Winter" in Panama. It just doesn't seem to mean much. There are TONS of those kinds of "ism's" in the World. Don't get me started, you'll regret bringing it up in the first place.

Panama has been "In The News" of late. A couple of Heads of State losing their jobs and some Chinese guys getting their Tiny Little Commie Dicks caught in the proverbial wringer. Couldn't happen to a nicer police lineup of Cavalier Financiers, huh? I betcha' Donald Frump has a few offshore accounts out there. (I know, I know, I promised, forever ago, that: "This thing would never get Political.") Sue me.  I know Donnie Dearest would. As a parting shot: Who, in their right mind would vote for that fucker's hair? They can't be voting for The Man... It's gotta' be the Crazy Hair.

So. Tom is spouting off, Poetry Slam Style, "Spare Parts." It, the song, reminds me of seeing/hearing him in Sandy Eggo, somewhere around Horton Square, in some vomit-floored Sailor Piano Bar (It's all Gentrified nowadays but, you can still find a joint with Vietnamese B-Girls hustling Sailors and Marines for $20.00 Champagne Cocktails if you really try to.) Back in the early 70's. Tom had been drinking, not The Piano. God only knows what else he was into in that crap-washed Border Town. I hated living there. I console myself that: "It was a long time ago."

"...The jukebox has to take a leak..."

"...The telephone needs a cigarette..."

"Not me. Not me. Not me. Not me. Nooot Meee..."

-Doc

 

SONNY!

The Sonny Landreth show was really good. I haven't been to a concert that I had to pay for, that I liked that much, in quite a long time. Read: "I rarely go to concerts that I have to pay for." Really. I simply: "Know Too Many Guys/Speak The Language" to have to pay. Not that I want a Free Ride. I'm fully willing to perform some menial duties for my admission.  My "dues" are: "Paid In Full." Once you have the shtick  down, it's not that difficult to: "Talk your way into a show." It's all smoke and mirrors anyway.

Regarding "Paying Dues..." I had the displeasure of working some really awful shows in my previous incarnation as a Lighting Designer. One will always stand out: Bad Company at The Starlight Amphitheater in Sandy Eggo. The band's "Tour Manager," a guy who, literally, looked as though he'd been "poured into" a pair of too tight leather pants and platform soled shoes, BAD British teeth and an attitude to match, wanted to tell me "how to do my job" one evening. He threatened to "climb my ladder and tech me a lesson" as I was focusing lamps upon Gaffer's Tape X's onstage.

I, in my usual Levi's, Chuck Taylor Low Cut's and some obscure Rock n' Roll T-Shirt, just looked down at the Guy, waggling a 16" Crescent Wrench and said: "Come on up, Leather Boy." I knew he couldn't climb the ladder in Those Shoes. He stomped off, cursing me, to find the show's Promoter. Bill, the Guy Running The Show, told him: "Leave my Lighting Guys alone. They're Professionals." Which, of course, only made Leather Boy angrier. I traded The Finger's and Fake Smiles with him for the duration of the show, fully expecting some sort of physical altercation with him after the show.

It never came to that. His SUPER FANTASTIC LIMEY ROCK BAND was given a luke-warm reception by the So-Cal Crowd and he was snorting some raspy stepped on blow backstage as we started our Tear Down/Strike/Pack It Up For Tomorrow ritual. Never saw the fucker again.

The only negative at the Sonny Landreth show was having to explain to some youngster that he was "sitting in my seat" and I wanted it back. Youngster attempted to school me on the finer points of "seat saving" whereupon, I suggested to him that perhaps pouring a beer into the seat he was now occupying might do the trick. I got my seat back.

Met some nice Locals at the show, particularly a Photographer that has taken some nice shots of my Buddy, Mark Karan. I recognized his name from those photo's. Nice Guy. Got his business card and will swap lies with him later. He rents Hammond Organs to bands passing through town. NOBODY wants to lug around their favorite Hammond B-3 on the road. Too many BAD THINGS can and usually DO happen during said cartage.

I took a few Snap Shot type photo's during the show. I think I forgot to "up" the film speed to ASA 800 or so, which may have been a "good mistake" since the Theater had a white backdrop behind the stage. So, my light meter was reading all the white "bounce-back" from that. I'm not up to speed on photographing concerts indoors, with a digital camera, yet. My little "entry level" Nikon Cool Pix unit wasn't really designed for that stuff. I am, after all, A FILM GUY, anyways. No problem shooting an indoor show with film. The lighting at the Sonny show wasn't all that conducive to photography, either. The overhead stage lights were pointed toward the "Dance Area" in front of the stage.

Anyhow: Good show, got a Shuttle Ride home and woke up the next day without a hangover or a black eye. Perfect!

-Doc

GOT THE FOG, COFFEE AND LAUNDRY BLUES?

This'll cure ya!

Doing the "Gig Rags" laundry and drinking coffee in the fog. I'm going to see Sonny tonight. I was going to go see Coco Montoya last night but, I was just too tired to remain vertical until 01:00 and rock out. Yes...I'm "getting old." Thanks, for reminding me. I'll try to take some photo's. I'm not "checked out on" interior no flash digital photography, yet. Hopefully, this will be the lesson I need to learn. How hard can it be? Just adjust the ASA to 1600, 3200, Auto Exposure and go for broke.

Just a quick note. I'm: "busy." Spring Cleaning and running around to do.

https://youtu.be/MMB7Xf_7JDs

"PUT YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS ON PEOPLE...

...IT'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!"

https://youtu.be/vGLVWnouFX8

April Fool's Day, that is. Tom and Tomasina Foolery all over the place, ensuing. I'll have to find a couple of good gags to spring on The Unsuspecting.

Yesterday, Easter. Tomorrow, The World. WHISKEY AND BACON FOR EVERYBODY!

Sorry about the ALL CAPS but, I get excited about pork fat and fermented grains.

Bought a New To Me cassette deck last week. $15.00 at the thrift store. $199.00 retail. Like new condition, not "smoked out" and very clean, almost "new." I recorded 180 minutes of music with it yesterday. Primus albums, to play in the Walkman. Yes, I still have a Sony Sports Walkman. Satisfied with results. This machine replaces another JVC unit that had "seen better days." I will stick with using cassette tapes until "they" quit making blank tape. JVC TD-W354 "B". Entry Level Machine. Does everything I need it to do.



I will also keep spinning Vinyl until forever. Maybe beyond. Are there LP Records in Heaven or whatever the next Celestial Carnival Ride is?

Next on the list for replacement: A new Integrated Amplifier, low power model. I don't need anything more than 2 channel, 90w per side. I do have a GIGANTIC Japanese Issue Sansui Amp that I could run, in my storage cubby. I should fire it up and make sure it's still usable.  Those dinosaurs never die and the older units have amazing sound reproduction. The Model 90000-S, like I have, especially. Europeans go Apeshit over them, I hear. Germans in particular. Which, I find "weird," Since they themselves make really nice dedicated amps. B&O, Telefunken, etc..

Cold storm moving through tonight/tomorrow. Low 40's forecast for early hours of morning. Warming up again through Friday, which is the day I "care about." Errands to run, picking up a guitar that's in the shop, grocery shopping, goofing off, etc..

Goofing off. That sounds great!

-Doc

I Don't "Feel" Tardy

October of last year, I decided I was: "Going to quit writing this thing." I lied, was incarcerated in some foul foreign prison, got lost on the way home from the whorehouse, fell into the Porta-Potty, had some mysterious disease, etc., but: Have Risen from The Dead." Just in time for Easter. How convenient.

The thing is: Nobody reads this but me. Do I care? Probably a little bit. Maybe some people DO read it, by mistake or while searching for something and scratch their heads, mumbling their way off to some other blog. I don't know.

Sucky Winter around here. WET! Not particularly COLD but, WET! El Cheezno Weather Trend. That thing that raises Hell with the West Coast every few years. I hear we : "Need The Water." Fine. All the reservoirs are FULL and the rivers are FLOODING. It can stop now. It's warm enough to go out and play.

Tons of Dead Rock Stars n' shit this year... "Bon Voyage, Amen." The Groove Cats of My Generation are dropping like flies.

07:00 here at the Anchovy Helm. Listening to Van Halen for breakfast. Coffee, too, of course. I bought a French Press coffee maker and shit-canned the old  basket filter Energy Pig thing I had been using. The coffee tastes better but, doesn't stay warm/hot for all that long. Drink fast, Squab!

Anyway: Just a quick note to allow for the oft chance that one soul might actually be wondering "Where that guy went..." Fuck you. It's none of your business/we'll catch up on that U.P.I., later.

It's almost REAL Baseball Season again. Yay! Even watching Cactus League screw-ups is fun compared to: "No Baseball." The Giants are off to another M.O.T.R. Season. Typical. Mad Bum got cheesed off at a runner the other day. Works for me.

Bought myself a Nikon Digital Camera since the last time I scratched words electronically. So, you can expect a few original photo's now and then. If I ever take any good ones, that is. I'm a Film Guy. Digital is WEIRD, for me. I have zero knowledge of Photo Shop and the like. I question whether or I not I even feel like using an application like that to Doctor photo's. The stock versions of images are fine with Automatic Exposures and Focus. I didn't buy the thing to be Artsy. Again, "I'm a Film Guy." I prefer that Witchcraft to the Digital Version.

"Good Morning. Now, SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK!" (Typical Captain's A.M. Greeting)

https://youtu.be/d681GuMZj6Y

 https://youtu.be/bJ9h2m06sFQ

-Doc