"What" is CRAZY?

It's an interesting question, huh? I think we can all agree that those people who put the cat in the microwave, direct traffic while naked (unless their med's get screwed up or they quit taking them), hurt themselves or others, see things that aren't "there/here/anywhere," suggest that "the world is going to end on a specific date," have private conversations with "God," (Wherein: God answers, audibly.) or any number of unexplainable phenomena are: CRAZY. Of course, that is a sorrowfully lacking list of possibilities for "CRAZY" and may or may not suggest that your dear Author is, himself: "half a bubble off." I don't deny the possibility. It is my firm belief that the people that deny their own CRAZINESS are, perhaps, the nuttiest squirrel turds on the ranch. The most probable theorem at work here is that the "most well-rounded personality in the world," still has a bit of CRAZY in it. That's "Normal." The "Old Normal," not the New One. I have no idea what the New Normal is. You'd have to ask someone that plays a Crazy Person on TV.

Back in the 70's, Ronald Reagan closed all of California's "Mental Hospitals" and let the "CRAZY people" roam the streets to: Commit crimes, direct traffic while naked (which is 'sort of a 'crime' I suppose), act out in various ways, find drugs that were 'kind of like' all the bad stuff they'd been administered while in those "Hospitals" and end up in Prisons, other Psychiatric Lockdown Facilities and/or just dying. Thanks, Ron. News Flash! "NO MORE CRAZY PEOPLE!" They're all dead or in prison, where they belong.

Psychiatrists want to "help" CRAZY people. Police want to "punish and/or lock up" CRAZY people. Doctors (The Lazy Ones) want to medicate CRAZY people into submission. Politicians want to get elected again. CRAZY people want to be Left The Fuck Alone.

My ostensibly "sane'" Brother (Wife, Kids, House, owns a company, drives a Corvette, goes to Church, acts in ways that most people consider perfectly "sane,") also talks to God. So do I. Are we CRAZY? Probably a bit. In some dark little corner of our psyche, there's a room marked: "No Access." The caveat here is: "Nobody knows about that." Or: "Talking To God, takes place in private and nobody knows about it." So far, God hasn't left me a Post-It Note or anything. Not that I haven't: "Felt That Intangible Presence." It's something you have to experience for yourself. I can't "tell" you anything about it.

Note: My Brother IS completely sane. Me? Debatable. It depends upon which Doctor you talk to. A "smart" LCSW once told me: "WE'RE ALL CRAZY." It's the only "sane" answer I've ever heard...

Consider the Myth of Cassandra. If you're unfamiliar with it, read up on the subject. Use Wikipedia if you must. In Modern Times, Cassandra would be locked up in the Rubber Room, heavily medicated and subject to snickering coffee break room ridicule by her own Psychiatrists. On the other hand: "SERIOUS FUTURISTS" are regarded as "gifted and thoughtful, deserving of praise and worthy of consideration." Go figure.

I would suggest that: CRAZY is in the mind and eyes of the beholder. What was CRAZY last week is "Brilliant" the next. "Orange is the New Black." Thanks, Ron.

Wild Man Fischer? Definately Crazy. Frank Zappa? It depends upon: "Who the listener is." I think he was a Genius. Other folks think he was just CRAZY. Now, Dennis Hopper was batshit nuts. Tom Cruise? Whacko. Jerry Falwell? Totally Certifiable. Pat Robertson? Times 4. Hitler? Out Of His Mind/Off Planet/The Lights Weren't Even On. Brittney Spears? Unfortunate Mouseketeer Gone Feral. Miley Cyrus? Allot like one of my Old Girlfriends. George Bush The Kid? NUTS. Dick Cheney? Megalomaniac, Sadist, Psychopath. Mel Gibson? Talks to God. Mumbles allot. God tells him to shut the fuck up and lay off the sauce.

The Other Side Of The Coin, entirely: Capt. Beefheart? Buckethead, Most Artists, etc.. I think the term "eccentric" fits better. Fine lines and all that stuff. The list goes on for aeons...

Well...The implants in my head are twerking, my Merry-Go-Round is Boop-Booping, The Eskimo has killed the Fur Trapper and: "There's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut." I didn't shoot that guy in the face on purpose. I thought he was a Skeet target. God said: "Pull the trigger! It was my Inner Grimace. Yea, the one from McDonald's."

Recently, a LAW was passed in Wyoming wherein: It is now: "Illegal to share wildlife/landscape photographs with The Federal Government." Yep. It's the Inner Grimace Guy's way of telling us to piss off and mind our own damned business. Better than getting shot in the face, I suppose. Wyoming is a weird place. I know. I've spent two Summers working for The World's Worst Dude Ranch. Just look for the "Gas Pump Farm" on your way to the South Entrance. Ya' can't miss it.

When I woke up and came into the Living Room this morning, Twelve Monkeys was on. Brad Pitt is a wonderful NUTCASE in films when he wants to be. (And, how in the Hell does he do that thing with his eye?) He's probably not the Tightest Wrapped Dude in the world in personal life, either. BUT, he makes lots of money, has a Wife and Kids, drives whatever car he feels like driving and is FAMOUS. ("Yay! Colonics for EVERYBODY!") Which, is probably allot like being CRAZY, anyway. Bruce Willis is probably much less CRAZY in real life. He was a Bartender in Chicago, after all. Six of one, half dozen of the other...

Some people think Buckethead is CRAZY. I think he doesn't like to talk.

CRAZY? Piece of cake. Eccentric? A little harder to pull off.

Who Loves Ya', Baby?
-Doc

Pitt and Willis:

 
Buckethead: (A wonderful piece of music)

 The Skipper: (RIP, Don.)