A similar question was posed to me, earlier today.
Answer: "Yourself."
I once witnessed a guy getting his hand cut off. True story. Ugly, bloody, messy, tragic, etc., etc.. Got it caught in a saw on a boat. A.F.U.B.A.R.. Damned good thing there were a couple of good Field Medics on board. And The Coasties on the way, via Jet Chinook. He got a new nickname. Lucky he ain't dead.
This afternoon, some "Greenie" on a City Bus asked me about "Fishing In Alaska" and I had a cohort next to me. Together, we scared the crap out of him. That Boy will NEVER stick his wiener in a river, ever again.
Funny how horror strikes fear into the hearts of the faint of will. Me? I consider the risk and weigh the consequences. "Come, Horror. Strike Sail and Drift To Wind." I'm a Fucking Deck Hand. Crane Op.. A FUCKING SAILOR!
G.P.: "Don't stick your hand near a gang knife!"
Note: I once cost a cannery allot of time and money by putting a high pressure gun into a gang knife. Not my hand, though. Lesson learned. I DID, however: REALLY PISS OFF THE ENGINEERS.
Point here: "If you're OLD, and, if you've learned to tie a couple of knots and keep your damned hands in your pockets," (And, your fly zipped), you probably have increased your chances of survival by a factor of 10X. And, by proxy, learned a few neat-o tricks along the way.
Suggestions:
1. Learn a cat-gut "chain stitch." It may, indeed: "save your life." (Or, some other Guys')
2. "If you don't know how to operate the machine, don't touch it."
3. "Everybody except YOU is trying to get some rest. NEVER assume that OTHER PERSONNEL are asleep. EVER.
4. If you don't: "Know What The Fuck Is Really Going On," ask someone that may know: (WTFIRGO.)
5. Listen to Steve Winwood. Or, Root Boy Slim. (It's good blues, trust me)
6. Learn to use a sextant, a manual compass, maps/charts and know the stars, Jim-Bob.
7. "Die. You Fucking Beach Maggot." (Courtesy Of ALL REAL SAILORS.)
8. Live today. "Tomorrow may be The Worst Day Of Yourn."
9. Pay well attention to leeboard.
10. NEVER LOSE RUDDER. Repair at all cost.
"Who Loves Ya' Baby?"
-Doc
Damnit. I Love de' Guys:
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